In just a few short months I'm going to be...25. Yes, admitting it is the first step. I'm having a really hard time with this. For some reason typing this makes me want to cry. Anyway, I have found that I'm at a point in my life where I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of it. I know I don't want to be a receptionist for the rest of it. Even though I really like my job, that's the problem, its a job not a career. I have been looking at going back to school but for what? Nurse? Well, I'm a certified medical assistant and that has gotten me no where. I know nursing I could get a job easier. Pharmacist? I would love it, but the more I look at the classes the more I think I'm not smart enough to be one. But then I think about going back to school and I start doing the math. I would take me what 4-8 years to finish...I would be in the 30's by then...that's old! Even though its not. I have to step back and think if I didn't get done until I'm 30, I would still have 30+ years of working ahead of me! That's a long time to be working. So I better be doing something I want to be doing! And making good money. I'm really tired of being broke. I want to go shopping!! I'm tired of the same old clothes and shoes. I need new pants really bad! Sorry, that's a completely different matter. I feel like I'm wondering down a road that's leading me no where. I know things will get better but when? I'm really tired of waiting. The problem with a quarter life crisis apposed to a mid life crisis is, at least during my mid life crisis I would have money to go crazy and buy a sports car or something! But quarter life, I have no money to go buy a sports car, let alone anything for that matter!! This leads me to something else that has been bothering me...
Everyone is having babies.
I know that this stage in life, people reproduce. Either they meant to or not! I go through phases where I want babies right now, I want them in a few years and I never want them. It changes weekly. I'm super happy for everyone who is expecting but its just weird for me. Its weirder when people younger than me are having babies. Even more weird people younger than me having their Second baby. Or people that have been married for like two seconds. I know surprises happen but I also know you can plan things too. I dunno. I really haven't been able to put into words how I actually feel about it cuz I'm not jealous, I'm happy for them. UGH I DON'T KNOW, its just WEIRD. I have never been good putting thoughts into words on paper and sometimes its every frustrating.
Ok, I guess that's it for now. I'm sorry. I know posts without pictures are boring but I only have pictures of my kitties. Or myself. When I get bored at work I take pictures of myself with my phone. Here, I'll leave you this pictures of Remy. She is our most mischievous kitty. Sometimes its annoying (mostly when we are trying to sleep) but other times she cant make us bust up laughing. We have decided that her thoughts sound like the squirrel from Over the Hedge. Talking really fast then "hey, whats that over there!?"
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